mom's beeday. and so much more.

grbe.. kpgod.. nging official photographer na ata ko ngaung gabi.. waha..

so today i went to madocs for our orientation... yyyyeeep. madocs na ko. so byebye na to my dreams @ dasma. ohwell.. ill deal. went there with edu.. den bumped into ej demesa and cadiz twins.. who knew they were gonna study there also? so there. we got our section and sched na rin. classmates kmi ni edu and ej. weeee. pahirapan ako pagkuha ng sked. nkapost lan kc sa bulletin board den u hafta copy it. mejo labo ng pagkakopya nmin. kya ayun, pinicturan nlan nmin. nyahaha. pwde na, pag izoom mo kita nman. d nga lng nakuha ung saturday sked! waah. so yea, monday till saturday ang classes. mostly 7-3...

so wen i got home.. i txted char kng san gmk.. la xa gmk kya ayun, pnpnta ko nlan sa haus. sbi ko save me from the elderly. lol. kaya mahal na mahal ko si terol eh. to the rescue! ahahaha... labyu! anyway laftrip ung party tlga... kakaiba eh.. noh terol? =p ahaha.

alone with char @ the salas + magic sing on the table = ill leave it to you to think.

hahahaha. laftrip. 50 - you have to do a little more effort. nyahaha.70 - not bad? lol...

btw.. i did take char's advice.... sbi nya youll never find the right one unless you give them a chance.. i do give them chances... its just that... theyre not him. theyre not the one im really looking for. so the hardest part is always when you have to say to the guy that he's not the one. that you dont feel the same way he feels about you. nakakatakot sabihin sakanila kc baka isipin nila bkt gnun.. prang pinaasa mo lng..

oh sorry na...

i did it before already to this guy, and believe me.. saying it infornt of him isnt easy.

damn.

its also hard for my part to see him hear it. he couldnt even look at me that time.. he got all teary eyed and he did try really hard not to show his emotion. but he didnt succeed on that. he went home... and texted me later that night and said.....

"maybe youre just a bitter-sweet memory."

ouch...

and now its all happening again.. theres this guy.. who says i love you.. i miss you... thankyou so much for spending your time with me. im so happy.

he's happy alright... but deep inside of me i wasnt. twas getting hard for me to see him happy already when in fact im not sure of my feelings for him. im not sure if i can give back what he gives me.

sobra eh.

and here i go again, baka sabihin pinapaasa ko nnman. pinapaasa ko nga ba?

hindi. hindi ko gagawin yun.

sbi kc give a chance. i gave. but... hindi parin tlga.

hindi ko maintindhan kung bkt hindi... hndi nman ako mapili. pro xempre.. ayaw ko rin nman kasi madaliin, kung hindi tlga, di wag.. wag pilitin.. kasi sbi ko sa sarili ko.. i want my first to be really special. and i dont care how long it takes for me to find him.

and yea, sbi nila hindi mo makikita siya kapag lalo mong hinahanap. im searching in a way that i consider dating.

well..

thankyou.. for everything that has been. you showed me how beautiful the world is. you took me to the place i love. you took me all the way... but it isnt just right to be with you.. and i cant lie.. ill just be lonely then if i do..

thankyou.. this summer has been great..

really..

i dunno...

i just dont think i deserve you, cos you deserve someone who can love you the way you love me... and it isnt me..

im sorry.. i cant be the girl youd want to have.. youll find her someday though.. and when you do.. ill be happy for you..

its not that its too fast or what...

cos i know that once you feel this guy is the guy.. youll feel the happiness no other can give...

i know..

hindi naman ako magpapakasal... haha.. pro ewan.. ill do give it a try when that guy deserves my chances of taking risks. and when he also deserves me as well.

talked to ry about it nga eh... about my search and all... sbi ba nman..

"grbe.. prang basted ka lng ng basted.. sakit nman nun.. haha"

hindi nman ksi sa gnun..

sorry na.. again..

i thought about it.. and realized... ayko na rin muna..

ill put aside my search for now..

im getting psyched about college anyway..

if it comes the it comes.

may it be.

so...

there...

...

=/